The Enrichment of Life Experiences: Kay Washington ’96

Kay Washington ’96 gained confidence from her education at OES.

As an eighth grader, she came to OES from St. Paul’s Episcopal School in Oakland, California when her mother got a job in Portland. Looking back, she has many fond memories of OES.

One of her favorite classes in Upper School was a philosophy class. “It was called the Philosophy of Love, and I can't remember who taught it, but we just would come together and talk about theories and have open dialogue,” Washington shared. She enjoyed her art, ceramics, and Spanish classes too. She will never forget the class trip to the San Juan Islands. 

“It was supposed to be a backpacking and bicycling trip, and it was pouring down rain,” she recalls. “We got there and they quickly started trying to find a place for us to stay inside, rather than camping. We ended up staying in a church recreation center because the weather was just so bad. But we made the best of it. There was a family that lived in Friday Harbor and they had ostriches and we were excited that we got to hang out there,” Washington laughed. 

After OES, Washington took some time to live in Barcelona, Spain before attending Mills College, where she earned a bachelor's degree in English literature and child development. She went on to obtain a master’s degree in elementary education from the University of the Pacific. “I thought I wanted to be a teacher when I graduated from college,” Washington shared. “I started at the Oakland Unified School District, which sometimes had close to 30 kids per class. It was so stressful. There were children of varying ages in a class because kids were being held back and there wasn’t much support in the public schools. I felt bad, but eventually I realized, ‘I can’t do this.’”

At age 23, Washington decided to switch gears and start a career in fashion. She worked as a buyer for two local San Francisco companies. She took a position with Ralph Lauren for eight years, traveling back and forth from San Francisco to New York. “Then Lauren said you need to move to New York, and I didn’t want to do that,” Washington said. “So I decided to just work for myself. I managed two stores in San Francisco, one in the marina district and one near Pacific Heights.”

When she took on the shopping center at Stanford, “I was managing close to 80 people, all between the ages of 18 and 25,” Washington laughed. “I love fashion and clothing and running the numbers, but I decided I wanted to do something that was more impactful. So I went back to school and got my master’s degree in elementary education at University of the Pacific, and also picked up another degree in English language learners who speak Spanish. And I’ve been teaching ever since.”

For the past 12 years, Washington has been a third grade teacher at the Children’s Day School in San Francisco. Five years ago, she also started leading diversity work at the school. “Whether it’s organizing affinity groups, guiding the lower school teachers in professional development, or helping families, that’s what I do,” Washington said.

One of her responsibilities is helping teachers bring the DEIJ (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Justice standards) into their curriculum. “Their standards are amazing because they differentiate by grade or by age level, so you can pull out terms and lessons appropriate for that age group. They also give kids the language to use when navigating challenging conversations.”

Washington said that, after gaining different life experiences and then returning to teaching, she has more insight to share with her students. “I say this all the time to my students: ‘I'm here to teach you math, reading, and writing. But I’m also here to teach you to be a good person that moves through this space.’ I feel that the way my mom and my grandmother raised me, they taught me to be a kind person. Also, from being in spaces like St. Paul’s and OES, I learned to lead with compassion and kindness.”

Looking back at her OES education, Washington said that several experiences gave her confidence.

“When I went back to Oakland to visit, as this young black girl, I said to my friends, I can set up a tent. They said, ‘Oh no you can’t!’ I said yes, I can, and I can hike for miles with a backpack that weighs 70 pounds,” she laughed. She also credits OES with helping her with her math skills. She struggled with math initially, but with extra help she mastered it and ended up loving it. “It’s my favorite thing to teach. I’ll be at a party and someone will say, ‘We need to find somebody else who loves math, to help us solve this math puzzle. I’ll go for it and they’ll ask me, are you a doctor? I’ll say no, I’m a teacher!’”

Getting back to kindness again, Washington said, “I tell my kids about the importance of pausing, slowing down. Saying please and thank you. Taking time to hold the door open for the person behind you. In retail, I really learned how to interact with people and how to listen. We spend a lot of time doing that in teaching: just listening. And I suggest to other teachers, when they talk with kids, they may not have a connection at first, but just sit down, ask them how their day was. Kids are chill. Show them the possibilities of what you can do beyond school. That’s really important.”

Washington comes from a long line of courageous women. Her grandmother, Doris Price, was an activist in the sixties and seventies in Rochester, New York. She was one of the founding members of the Black Panther Party in Rochester. You can read about her in this article that just ran in the Huffington Post.