The Social Lives of Children

Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D. is a consultant, author, and psychologist specializing in children and families. He is the supervising psychologist for the Belmont Hill School and has worked in more than seven hundred schools across the United States, as well as in international schools in Central America, Europe, Africa, and Asia.

He and his co-author, Dan Kindlon, wrote the New York Times best-selling book, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (Ballantine Books, 1999). He is the author of Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions about Raising Sons Ballantine, 2000), and co-author (with Catherine O'Neill Grace and Larry Cohen, Ph.D.) of Best Friends/Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children (Ballantine, 2001) and Mom, They're Teasing Me: Helping Your Child Solve Social Problems (Ballantine, 2002.) About Best Friends, Worst Enemies the Publishers Weekly review declared, "Not since Dr. Spock and Penelope Leach has there been such a sensitive and practical guide to raising healthy children." The Pressured Child: Helping Your Child Achieve Success in School and in Life (with Teresa Barker, Ballantine, 2004) was written to help parents understand the complex journey of children through school, from Kindergarten through senior year. His third book on the psychology of boys, entitled, It's a Boy!: Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Eighteen, was published in 2008. It focuses on the importance of undirected, free play in the lives of boys. Dr. Thompson’s newest book, Homesick and Happy: How Time Away From Parents Can Help a Child Grow, was published by Ballantine Books in May of 2012.

Dr. Thompson is a past member of the American Camping Association and is on the Advisory Board of Parent Magazine. Dr. Thompson lives in Arlington, Massachusetts. He is married to Dr. Theresa McNally, a psychotherapist, is the father of two grown children and the grandfather to Aubrey, Brynlee and Kalen.

For Parents: Supporting Emotional Growth, Independence, and Resilience

• Homesick and Happy: How Time Away from Parents Can Help a Child Grow – Excerpt reprinted by the American Camp Association. Thompson writes, "When parents hover over every experience, children lose the confidence that they can manage life on their own."
• Too Much Information: The Challenge of Parenting in the Age of Constant Updates – NAIS Independent School Magazine article (requires login). Thompson advises parents to resist overinvolvement in school communication: "Parents need to remember that knowledge is not the same as influence."
• Podcast: Sunshine Parenting – Homesick and Happy with Michael Thompson, Ph.D. – conversation about why separation builds self-reliance.
• Speaking to Parents About Anxiety – Thompson explains to caregivers that "the goal of parenting is not to eliminate anxiety from your child’s life, but to help them live bravely with it." (Excerpt shared from his school presentations; similar message discussed in interviews.)
• Raising Cain talk at Singapore American School
• Raising Emotionally Mature Boys Podcast
• The pressured child talk at Avenues World School
• Finding the Heart of the Child: Essays on Children, Families, and Schools – a curated set of short reflective pieces that speak to the core of his philosophy: empathy, trust, and developmentally appropriate expectations.
• MIT News – "Speaker Advises Parents How to Cope with Social Cruelty" – report on Thompson’s address about peer aggression and emotional intelligence: "Children will not become moral simply because adults instruct them to; they must practice morality in their relationships."
• Twelve Suggestions for Teaching Boys (summary of Thompson talk). Practical guidance for faculty who want to support boys’ emotional expression and learning styles.